When I left for Colorado two and a half weeks ago, I knew it would be an earth-shaking trip. We'd been planning it for months- deciding which cities to visit, finding condos and cabins, and coming up with activities to do each day. The planning process was so much fun to me! (Imagine that! Ha!) I went on the trip expecting to hear from God. After all, could there be any better place to hear from the Creator of the universe? Somehow I just knew I was going to hear from Him. I halfway expected it in the form of gaining direction in my career search, but what I got instead was far more valuable to me.
One of the last days we were there, I woke up in an unusually down mood. If you know me well at all, you know it is pretty uncommon for me to feel quiet and sad. It all seemed to start when I woke up crying in the middle of the night. That afternoon, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the many events this year has held so far. To be completely honest, it left me feeling very frustrated. I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time with it. I thought God had healed me.
As I was getting ready to go out for the day, I began praying and thinking about the pain I was feeling. In a whisper so loud it was nearly audible I heard, "Daughter, do you want to get well?" I was startled. I generally hear the Lord through a still, small voice. This time, the words I heard were unmistakably His. In fact, Jesus asked the same thing of a man who could not walk (John 5). He knew I wanted it. He knew I wanted it so badly, but I told Him I did anyway. And then... Silence.
I left my room that day feeling discouraged, quiet, and vulnerable. In the days before this one I had been overwhelmed by such a sense of peace. But for some reason, I simply couldn't seem to shake the feeling of heaviness that day. Later on, my family and I decided to take a drive to see if we could spot some wildlife, but we ended up seeing something else. Though it had been cloudy and rainy all day, the sky had turned into a fiery hot pink backdrop to a perfect rainbow. It brought tears to my eyes.
