learning to let go.

i can be so dense at times. it seems that God is constantly trying to show me things, but it takes multiple lessons before i "get it". and even then, i wrestle, i question, and i fail; only to ask my Father to help me learn the lesson again. i want to have the power, i want to know the outcome of a season in my life before i even walk through it. nearly two weeks ago, i came to the realization that i have been utterly consumed with what can only be described as control. its hard to trust sometimes, though it shouldn't be. my Father, the God of the universe, has my best interest at heart. it doesn't always look the way i think it should, but in the end it is always better than i could have imagined.

something in me broke a couple of weeks ago. i was feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious over things i have no control of. in a whisper so clear, i felt God say, "daughter, give it to Me." for the first time in weeks, i willingly handed it to Him. i felt my soul breathe a sigh of relief, and a wave of peace washed over me. even now, sitting in a semi-crowded computer lab, i am tearing up with joy. i don't have to carry it! for the first time in so long, i feel like i can breathe again. i am so thankful to have a Father who walks with me and loves me despite all my shortcomings.

"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31