some days i feel like a mess. God's been working a lot on me lately... showing me my shortcomings and pushing me to work on them. in the last couple of weeks, i've come to see things in myself that i'd never paid much attention to before... mostly because it was easier to ignore them. i've allowed myself to become stifled by fear and insecurities that never used to bother me, and that is one of the most painful realizations i have ever had.
on the other hand, there's something beautiful about realizing the areas i fall short in. i can feel God changing parts of me and making me into the person He wants me to be. it is beyond difficult, but He is challenging me to push through my fear and trust Him. changing is very painful, but there is something awesome about it. God uses times like these to draw me closer to Him. it would be easy to become embarrassed of my response to fear lately, but instead i must look at it as God's way of building into me. He has something greater for me than living with reservations because of what could happen. i am so thankful He's showing me that. so now i am praying that He will give me the strength to push through these growing pains and follow Him. i'm praying that He'll give me courage when i'm lacking in it, and wisdom in my future decisions. i trust Him.
