i am learning how to forgive.
that seems like such a simple concept, and it really should be. but unfortunately, for some such as myself, it is not. now, i'm not talking about the kind of forgiveness where whoever has offended you apologizes and never does it again. i'm not even talking about the kind where they apologize and continue to do it. i'm talking about the kind of forgiveness that involves an unjust act done multiple times, and never apologized for, or even acknowledged. that is where the difficulty lies.
without getting into too many details, i have grown up in a family where one person's sin and decisions have effected everybody else.
this is an issue in my life that has caused me a lot of heartache, and sadly, a lot of unforgiveness.
and i'm sick of it.
unforgiveness is a miserable thing to live with.
i recently read the shack. now without giving away too many details, i will first of all say that it is an amazing book, and if you haven't read it, go read it NOW. :) it shaped me in a way i didn't completely expect. i learned that forgiveness is not done for the person i'm forgiving, it is done for myself and my relationship to God and others.
will i still be angry sometimes? yes.
will i still get frustrated? of course.
will it still hurt at times? sure.
but i think the unforgiveness hurts worse than the offense.
a man spoke last night at a special service at school, and talked about forgiveness for a bit. he mentioned that Jesus, even when he was beaten to the point of nonrecognition, forgave the men who were crucifying Him.
"When they got to the place called Skull Hill, they crucified Him, along with the criminals, one on His right, and one on His left. Jesus prayed, 'Father forgive them; they don't know what they're doing.'" -Luke 23:33-34 (the message)
what an unbelievable thought. they didn't apologize! in fact, the soldiers were casting lots for Jesus' clothes.
forgiveness, as i am learning, is a process, not an event. i'm realizing how freeing it is now that i am working on it. i have finally figured out that i don't need to wait for an apology in order to forgive, because i may never get one. by forgiving, God will free me. hallelujah.
